"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?
Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life.
I'll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

this is her: jasmine Ever Tried Ever Failed No Matter Try Again Fail Again Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

this is her: carrie

this is her: rachelle My words are simple on the surface they may seem meaningless sometimes they are... =]

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i'm finally at the end of proverbs.


i've been putting off proverbs 31 for a while, because I know what takes up the greater chunk of it...

i've never really enjoyed the way the Proverbs 31 woman is waved in the face of all christian women as a standard to be.
but i won't go into that.


the one thing i will go into, is v.30 which says,
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

As a woman, there are many things of value to me.
As a woman, I am given value of some sort.

Those two sometimes end up in tension with each other.

My prayer is this, that I don't forget that fear of the Lord is true wisdom, and wisdom is of value to me.
I pray that things of value to me, give value to who I am too, and not take away value.

It is difficult to write about this passage.

Maybe I have too much that I hold against men... to properly begin to dissect this passage.

Father, I thank you for your grace.
Those words do not come close to what I mean, but thank you for accepting them anyway.



v.5
"Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him."

I would like my words to be a shield too.

I would like my words to be flawless.

I would like my words to bring life, to create beauty, to point to purpose, to unearth meaning and to seduce the deep emotions of the heart that we leave unsaid because of its depth.

How, Father, do I make my words like yours?
How can the words I write hold the same timeless power as yours?

v.6
"Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar."

I am not so ambitious.
I do not wish for my words to displace anything.

But I do want my words to hold truth in them, and I want them to hold wisdom, and understanding, and the spark that is your Holy Spirit.

Father, would you grant me that much?
Is that part of your plan for my glory?

I really hope...hope is too weak a word for the restlessness I feel on the inside.

But you understand don't you?

Father may I always honor your name.



v. 13
"The poor man and the oppressor have this in common: The Lord gives sight to the eyes of both."

v. 18
"Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law."

I am thinking of our God, and the spread of his hand over the whole world.
How small are we in comparison to this hand, the hand that holds the world and its universe within it.

Father God is God over everything, good and bad.
Sovereignty is not selective, that is not the nature of sovereignty.

God gives sight to both good and bad... a thought like that easily leads to our ideas of fairness...
Is it fair that both the poor man and the oppressor get sight?
Would it not be better for the oppressor to be blind?

I find those arguments quite useless.

The point is, accepting the existence and presence of God also means accepting his status, and his power as God.

I wonder if these beliefs of mine will hold always.
I know full well they are fragile, and I know they waver, because I know I am weak.

But God would you give me revelation, and bless me when I keep the law.
I am trying right now merely to understand it, to learn it, but Father will you reveal it to me, since given to me is the secret of your Kingdom, Jesus Christ...

I am learning.
And I am here.

Thank you for allowing me to be family.



v. 26
"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe."

This is counter-intuitive.
We are taught that the only people we can really trust are ourselves.
We are taught that our abilities, our efforts and our willpower will save us.
We are taught that we are our own best friend, and that our intuition is what should be followed.

Yet the Bible reminds us constantly that if we think wisely of ourselves, we are truly fools.
We are painted as wayward, always turning away from what is good, because disobedience runs in our blood.

"But he who walks in wisdom is kept safe."

Wisdom has always, since day 1, been the understanding of who God is, built by a fear of the Lord.

The Lord is the only one we can really trust, beyond ourselves.
The Lord will save us, not anything that we can do.
The Lord is our best friend, and He is who we should follow.

In this way we are kept safe, under the shadow of his wings, we are kept close in his presence.
Although life will still be challenging, although we will still run into problems and circumstances we wish we weren't in, we will be kept safe.

Who we are is kept safe when we stop over-zealously guarding what that is, and begin to trust the Father who knows us better than we know ourselves.

Sound bible-cliche?

Yes, sometimes bible-cliche is cliche because it is correct.

v.5-6

v.4-5
"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes."


So... classic proverbs.
Two proverbs back to back that kind of say opposite things.

While I was reading this, the only thing that kept coming back to mind were the youtube comments you see under all popular youtube videos, and the incredibly ridiculous fights that break out over one person's comment.

To me that is classic "do not answer a fool according to his folly..."

The first proverb is relatively straightforward to me, it is something I try hard to avoid, although my overly passionate temperament tends to not bode well when my ears hear something that I find ludicrous.

The second proverb is a bit more interesting, because it asks us to answer a fool according to his folly... and the use of the word "or" explains a consequence if we don't.
If we don't answer according to his folly, he will be wise in his own eyes...

Is this proverb asking us to care about the people around us, by correcting them if they are wrong.
That sounds relatively presumptuous and I doubt that is the original intent.

Perhaps it is about choosing to enter into the mindset and framework of the other person, in order to better understand, otherwise you come across as horrifically ignorant and the other person sits in a defensive position and views your entire exchange in the framework of combat.

To be honest I don't really know, but these are just some thoughts...

v.2
"It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings."

there are many things that are concealed from us.
i have many questions, many doubts and hesitations, and I don't think those will ever be answered.

what does it mean really?
For the glory of God = matters concealed?

matters concealed = God's glory revealed?

Or maybe, it is a contrast between the way glory is respectively portrayed: God has to always conceal himself, because it is too overwhelming, but a king has to reveal, to prove trustworthiness, to display splendor.

even the meaning of this proverb is concealed from me.
time, space, language, understanding...cloaks and cloaks that layer meaning.

maybe those cloaks are also displays of the glory of God.

time.
space.
language.
wisdom.

maybe.